She said "I wanted you to be there" and I couldn't apologize and admit that my jealousy turns me into some sort of sulking fucking baby at times. There weren't fireworks that night, though I wouldn't be totally sure time spent in black outs sure wish I could black out my days that easily.... twenty long hours since my last cigarette... I'm still waiting for Jenn to call me back and ask me to go to the prom with her. Ten years to the fucking day... There is a seam being split in the firmament and I bet there is a poet writing much more poignant lines at this very moment as I emulate and infringe on so many copyrights.
I want it so badly just watching her sit there and put her arms around his shoulders. It feels so good to be the one receiving someone's affection sure but it feels comparatively worse watching the object of yours two steps away from fucking some other guy. I'm not too proud to admit that there will forever be regrets resting in my heart which will remain until it stops...
...a little honestly wouldn't have killed me in retrospect but a little honesty sure as fuck will kill me now.
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