Poor Attempts At Remembering Our Dreams

Let's be honest nobody will appreciate this, ignored and rebuked oh lovely hands so faultless but cracking with arthritic pain it's the noon lite spirited refrain inside of our heads, like the time we just got drunk at your ex-girlfriend's house, not a sound was made as we slept on the floor thinking that maybe it could be this okay all the time without you dire dire people I miss drinking in the suburbs not worrying about having to share my smokes with anyone I don't know... I don't care... It's over give up we'll never even make 40 a year we might as well disappear and I don't give a fuck what they say we will only ever sleep in the houses we wish we owned... I know it's not for me to be pressed down to the grindstone then why the fuck am I still here? You spend Sundays driving through suburbs dreaming of a perfect family to fill it with, sleeping in your father's house what is truly yours is truly his and I can't help but scrape open my eyes after hours of uninspired sleep and feel a complete lack of enthusiasm as they pack our sore bodies into cities to get shuffled around as the developers see fit... I can't help but sorely think I never slept in your father's house... so am I really nothing without you? Oh when will it all end?

My Own and Very

It could be total fucking bliss! White spit metal taste in my mouth and I'm so dumb but so happy to be so cool man so fucked up so chill and open to trying new things (blessed and fucked up eyes glazed red and tired looking older just for today)... We slow down but we don't sleep and that's okay because I stopped dreaming anyways, such a tired tirade today I took a quick fix to a better day... Photos were taken and people were arrested I don't know why I'm even here, trust fall forever word vomit we never want to shut up ever again I've saved up these words for weeks I'll let them out I'll let them pour right out of me

The flesh permanently denied... I am the exact definition of falling fucking short

Think They'll Get That Guy?

It's more than just mountains between us and the way he said "I love you I love you" before crossing the finish line their ankles tied together it reminded me of you.

Left Unsaid

Did it for myself and I still do cause I don't give a fuck about anybody else. I fall in love with day dreams, not people. Not girls whose fingers trace hourglasses in the air, who can't sleep without the television blaring on and on... it makes me feel so hateful. I dream about all the shit I'm doing when I'm awake just more tedious and repetitive in it's details. I wait for you to come around, in dreams, to vomit dirt and fabric from your desiccated mouth. I wait for you in dreams, to exist across time, to travel inside the dark dirt of our beggar souls. I saw the past through my presents eyes in a dream where you were dressed up in golden threaded splendor as my chest caved in from the pressure of so many fucking remember whens...

Digging with my bare hands until the fingernails split off of my fingertips from all the hard soil being packed beneath it. I'm digging for gold.

This is a fucking time machine

Stella Purdy

It's all death black on her leather jacket
Pins and spikes a poser decomposer
Tugging at plastic pearls
Standing on a table
Wobbling all legs
Drunk slurring
muttering

"I remember hardcore I used to go to punk rock shows..."

The City: Collectively Spitting in Your Face on a Daily Basis

It's the same sort of sunlight you get while you're lying in a coffin, the type of promise you feel when you're staring at the wrong end of a shotgun... and the thrill you felt in your chest the throat locked up tight without a key without a switch we'll drop thousands of floors down our to the pits of our stomachs, getting worried getting sick walking these salted streets dressed like a target I can see how it ends and I don't want a part of it... finely dressed to the nines he says "oh we'll just gut out the ugly parts of this city make more than a couple million and push them all out to new and worse ghettos."

I don't fear the leaders who seek to destroy our bodies... I fear the ones who destroy our souls one price tag at a time

Jenny Swanson Syndrome

She said "I wanted you to be there" and I couldn't apologize and admit that my jealousy turns me into some sort of sulking fucking baby at times. There weren't fireworks that night, though I wouldn't be totally sure time spent in black outs sure wish I could black out my days that easily.... twenty long hours since my last cigarette... I'm still waiting for Jenn to call me back and ask me to go to the prom with her. Ten years to the fucking day... There is a seam being split in the firmament  and I bet there is a poet writing much more poignant lines at this very moment as I emulate and infringe on so many copyrights.

I want it so badly just watching her sit there and put her arms around his shoulders. It feels so good to be the one receiving someone's affection sure but it feels comparatively worse watching the object of yours two steps away from fucking some other guy. I'm not too proud to admit that there will forever be regrets resting in my heart which will remain until it stops...

...a little honestly wouldn't have killed me in retrospect but a little honesty sure as fuck will kill me now.